Refining Ourselves [Part 3]

The Overleaves: The Goal

The Goal is the primary area in which the Soul wants to learn the lessons of any given life. Your Goal is the bottom-line your Soul has set up. Your lifetime will bring you face-to-face with different goals that will, together, embody your lifetime Goal so that you can research it repeatedly from many different aspects.

Some Goals are chosen rarely because they are so narrowly focused and/or troublesome.
Again, there are 7 Goals:

The Inspirational Goals
Re-evaluation [1%]
The person who chooses Re-evaluation as a goal may be contemplating, at the deepest levels, many lifetime’s worth of major issues that proved so difficult to face that they just got swept under the rug for lifetime after lifetime. These issues can be buried so deeply in the instintive center, the Soul has to take a lifetime or two just to dig down far enough to find them. People who are severely retarded, autistic, so obese that they can’t lever themselves out of bed, quadraplegic, etc. may well be living lives based on Re-evaluation. You can see how lives lived from this perspective would necessitate slowing down.

Usually, the individual is not evaluating problems on a conscious level but, instead, simply ruminating at a deep level without a clear focus. This catch-up is, generally, not easy to accomplish and can appear very self-limiting. The ultimate goal here is, ‘Let’s learn from past mistakes and do better next time.’

In the positive pole, such people look rather artless and innocent to others. Deep below the surface they’re puzzling through all those matters they’ve pushed aside, like Scarlett O’Hara, until they are finally forced to confront them whether they like it or not.
In the negative pole, the person may become stuck, internalized in the extreme, not completely ‘here.’

Surprisingly, there is a handful of people with the Goal of Re-evaluation who have risen to enough prominence to become at least fairly well known: the head of the Federal Reserve Paul Volcker, George Wallace, authors and introverts Stephen King and Edward Abbey. George Schultz, Reagan’s Secretary of State had resolved enough of his issues to begin moving into Growth [see below] on occasion though he still tended to hang back and observe. Joseph Campbell who received recognition posthumously for his work on mythology was a Scholar in Re-evaluation as he contemplated his move into First Level Old Soul Age.

Growth [40%]
Here we go on a rollercoaster lifetime with your soul pushing you to gain as much experience as possible barely pausing to rest and breathe [pant, really] between experiences. People, underneath all the whirling dervishness they’ve chosen, can look a little tired as they strive to confront themselves with learning experience piled on top of learning experience. They don’t tend to choose their encounters based on ‘is it fun?’ or ‘is it interesting?’ or ‘is it a good career move?’ but, ‘can I learn from it?’

Just look at Bette Midler, Whoopi Goldberg, Pee-Wee Herman, Billy Crystal, Lucille Ball, Frank Zappa, Steve Martin and Charlie Chaplin and you can see speed balls propelled from within to get out there and LEARN, GOLDARN IT!
Given the nature of Growth, there are a good number of well-known people to choose from here and when they’re being interviewed by Barbara Walters or whoever, you’ll often hear them say, ‘I learned a lot from that experience,’ or ‘That was very enlightening for me.’

In the positive pole you’ll see eagerness to embrace the next episode in their tumultuous lifetime. Very dynamic and outgoing, setting challenges and meeting them and moving on to the next barely pausing for breath.

In the negative pole, people will manifest lots of complications—getting in their own ways. They may look driven but confused or absent minded. They may be self-absorbed and appear callous when confronted with the needs of another person. [any experience, even Growth, can have its negative side—especially if the person becomes overtired.]
The simplest way out of the negative pole [and this holds true for all the overleaves], is to move into the positive pole of its paired goal [in this case, Re-evaluation] where the person in Growth can experience a well-earned rest and spend some time contemplating all that Growth that has just occurred.

The Expressive Goals
Discrimination [2%]
Often chosen after a number of lifetimes of Acceptance [see below] and being, perhaps, too much the door-mat, Discrimination can help the Soul sort through what one does and does not want to accept. It’s a way to develop a backbone.

These folks are selective. They are likely to hold well-thought-out opinions and will happily tell you exactly WHY they’ve made the choices they have.
They may pursue careers as critics whether of restaurants, plays, art, architecture, fine wines and beers or what-have-you. They can focus in on every detail, dissecting the object of their perusal and detailing for their audiences all the finer nuances.

People in the positive pole look sophisticated and refined, discerning and meticulous. They take pride in their exacting standards and, in fact, may find it difficult to relax and enjoy an experience unless it is up to their own level of sophistication.
In the negative pole, people may become fussy, closed-off snobs. Never satisfied, they can look at a Renoir painting only to find fault with it. These folks can drive others away with their nit-picky hair-splitting. Again, the easiest way out of the negative pole is to slide into the positive pole of Acceptance.

The typical facial expression is pursed lips and the arched eyebrow. This facial type has become so well recognized its stereotype is often used in advertising to suggest that this car or that salad dressing is, undeniably, the best on offer.

Fred Astaire, Bob Dylan, Orson Welles, Richard Gere, Steven Jobs, Dick Cavett, William F. Buckley all embody Discrimination. Simone de Beauvoir wanted to eliminate the female sexual sterotype and managed to propel us all along the way.

Tasters of fine wines and chocolates, four star chefs and sniffers in the perfume industry are, almost unanimously, in Discrimination.

Acceptance [30%]
The idea here is to accept life and the other people in it. The person wants to accept others and, likewise, wants to be accepted by them.

Generally, people in Acceptance display good spirits. You see warmth and approachability in their eyes. Very popular with Old Souls, since the over-arching Goal for the entire species [and all sentient beings] is agape—that is, unconditional love—Acceptance can feel very spiritual in nature.

In the positive pole you’ll find warm, self-accepting, agreeable, kind, friendly people. If they’re really clicking, they’ll radiate bliss and everyone around them will feel appreciated.

In the negative pole people can be ingratiating, insincere, overly fearful of rejection, doormats and flatterers. They may even look two-faced and hypocritical as they attempt to agree with everyone around them simultaneously—no matter how different those people may be.
By trying to be too accepting they’ll wind up pushing others away as no one likes being around such a wuss. This person may become so fearful of rejection that they’ll unconsciously slide into the negative pole of Discrimination in order to reject another before that person rejects them.
On an inner level, they may experience an inability to decide what they want for themselves [the opposite of Discrimination] and lose focus in the steering of their own lives.

As you may imagine, Acceptance can be helpful in the field of politics: Ronald Reagan, JFK and Bishop Tutu all used it to great effect.
G. H. W. Bush, though, experienced difficulties with it when he attempted to follow two opposing pieces of advice and first told the Kurds the US would have their backs if they stood up to Hussein—then failed to deliver on his promise—with the predictable, disastrous results.
Robert Redford, Stevie Wonder, Sally Field [“You like me! You really like me!”], Brooke Shields and Bill Cosby all show the classic ‘Acceptance Face’.

The Action Goals
Submission [10%]
Often chosen after several lifetimes of arrogance and self-centeredness or in order to follow a guru or serve a cause, a person in Submission may feel cheated if she or he hasn’t yet found a suitable person or cause to serve. Servers rarely choose this Goal as it is so intertwined with how they live their lives anyway. Notice how two Warriors [Dwight D. Eisenhower and Pope John Paul II] look almost like Servers rather than their true Role. Submission can be a very strong Goal, indeed.

Such causes as peace, the environment, caring for the sick, the hungry, the poor, and so on are all appropriate ones for the person practicing Submission.
It’s trickier to find a person to serve as there are plenty of undeserving gurus out there who may be on the prowl for people who are willing to turn their lives over to them.

In the positive pole, people in Submission will be pretty tireless—first in their quest to find a cause to serve and, later, to serve it selflessly. A major key to maintaining oneself in the positive pole is to find an appropriate calling. Therefore, it behooves one to choose carefully—not just jump at the first opportunity to serve. [Using Caution MODE (to be outlined in the next post) may help one look before he or she leaps.]
In the negative pole, a person may feel unworthy if temporarily without a cause to serve. Further into the negative end of things, a Submission directed person can feel overwhelmed by the cause, completely out of control of his or her own life. Feeling the victimized martyr feels really awful and, hopefully, will urge the person to slide into Dominance [the paired goal] in order to balance the experience and find fresh direction.

Notice how Ralph Nader, Jane Fonda, Mother Theresa, Deng Xioping, Lech Walesa and Mr. Rogers all found causes to which to devote themselves. Paul Simon and Joan Baez have used their music to further the things they believe in.
Nancy Reagan, Pat Nixon and Kitty Dukakis all devoted themselves to their husbands.

As can be seen, there are a myriad of causes for the person in Submission to serve.

Dominance [10%]
In the English language, the word ‘dominance’ can take on negative meanings. As Michael describes it, though, it is a positive quality when used appropriately as the person in Dominance wants to create Win/Win situations as it’s just so much easier to ensure that others will allow them to dominate the situation if everyone wins.

People in Dominance will always be motivated to get things moving in their own direction by jumping in to fill any void left by others. Even as children, they want complete control of themselves and their environment and will let their families know it.
From adolescence onward, individuals in Dominance will likely be allowed to take over by those around them because it just feels good to let someone else make decisions, delegate tasks and move any group toward its goals.

In the positive pole, you’ll find folks who have the natural skills to make others feel appreciated as they follow the Dominant’s lead. They’re energetic, dedicated, determined and capable people who tend to rise easily to the top. They easily take charge of their own lives and, usually, will take charge of any group they find themselves in— be it a PTA committee, a social club, a corporation or a nation.
In the negative pole, the Dominant can be dictatorial, demanding, overbearing, insensitve and controlling. Most Dominants don’t tend to stay in the negative places too long as they’re blowing it if they aren’t creating the win/win situations they are justly famous for. If they start getting into the territory of ‘Winner Take All’ no one feels good— even the Dominant her or himself.

You’ll find lots of lots of natural leaders here: George Washington and Winston Churchill, for instance. Mikhail Gorbachev and Ho Chi Minh.
Madonna, Sean Penn, Harrison Ford, Sigourney Weaver, Cher, Mae West, Jodie Foster and Katherine Hepburn all used Dominance effectively to forge their careers. Lee Iacocca has used it to run a corporation and go after our political leaders—leaving no doubt in their minds that there are real people out here in the hinterlands who deserve to be governed well.
Carl Jung broke with Freud to develop his own brand of psychology.
Charles Manson used it to get whatever he wanted and Robert Bork was one of the few who couldn’t seem to master the win/win outcome [and it’s a good thing he hasn’t yet developed that skill, imo.]

All these folks, no matter the effect they’ve had on others, are strong-willed characters intent on getting things moving in their direction.

The Assimilative Goal
Flow (aka Stagnation) [7%]
[Michael initially called this goal “Stagnation” but it was soon changed to “Flow” because of the negative connotations of the word.]

The people in Flow are often recuperating from trying sets of lifetimes and are taking a well deserved break to just kick back and relax for a while. If these folks can allow themselves to simply let go, things should just fall into their laps easily. These are the individuals the rest of us envy because of how easily things move in their direction.
Their lives aren’t set up to present a lot challenges or lots of activity. Smooth sailing pretty much embodies the entire lifetime. The goal here is to learn to let go. If the person fights the flow they’ll begin to flounder and struggle and relaxation goes right out the window. So, the folks in this goal become adept at becoming magnets—just breathing into whatever their short term goals are and letting those goals find them.

In the positive pole, they resemble Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds as she floats downstream. Looking rather dreamy, coasting along and feeling pleased with themselves, they’ll barely leave a wake behind. Tranquil pretty well describes these folks.
In the negative pole, they might appear inert, lost, drifters without any direction at all. Even deeper into the negative end of things they may struggle against the current tiring themselves out rather than allowing the relaxation to simply occur.

There aren’t too many famous examples because the Goal of Flow doesn’t lend itself to the work usually associated with developing fame and fortune. Still, take a look at George Hamilton and Ringo Starr for a couple of folks to get a sense of what they look like.

Being the neutral, assimilative Goal, Flow can also flow right into any of the other six Goals when action is called for. Most people have one or two favorites they land in more often than others. So, someone in Flow might pick the Acceptance Goal in order to feel good about oneself or others or Dominance if he or she feels a need to handle a short-term goal.